Cute Little Pregnancy Ticker

Happy 5th Birthday, Tommy!

Tommy was born 5 years ago on August 24th. He was my last "natural birth" attended by my favorite midwife, Jane. Jane and Stuart delivered him. I remember it like it was just a little bit ago and can't believe 5 years have gone by!! Now I am homeschooling Tommy for his kindergarten year. He is a great student and really enjoys learning. That makes it easy for mom!

Hurting and Hope

Sleep is elusive. Between our puking Jack Russell and cute Eden in our bed, I am awake in the wee hours. Since Kara's diagnosis I awake at odd hours and my thoughts click on and I can't seem to turn them off. We are hurting. Hurting and wishing for things that may never be. Hurting for there have been things done and said. Sometimes I don't even know what to do with myself. I have taken it to the Lord in prayer and await His response to my grief, my sorrow, my pain. And I believe He answered with this: "but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Sweet little babies,
it’s hard to understand it ‘cause we’re hurting
We are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we’re stronger people through the growing
And in knowing-
That all things work together for our good
And God works His purposes just like He said He would…
Just like He said He would… (Glory Baby by Watermark)

Diagnosis

Kara Faith, 15 weeks, 5 days

Last Wednesday, August 12th, 2009, our baby girl was diagnosed with Holoprosencephaly (HPE). We saw Dr. Richards at Shands at UF. We weren't given too much information at the time of our appointment. Dr. R drew a picture and wrote the name of it down on a piece of paper. He told us our baby would not live very long once she is born. At almost 16 weeks, her other systems looked normal on the scan, which was good. He didn't detect a cleft lip/palate on the ultrasound. He said that my pregnancy should go to term. A possible problem could be overabundance of amniotic fluid due to the baby having trouble swallowing (polyhydramnios). We ask for specific prayer that this would not happen. We will go back to Shands for another ultrasound with Dr. Richards at 22 weeks. There is so much to tell, but the past few days have been trying. We are praying for a miracle from Jesus for our daughter. If that is not His will, then we are praying that He would transform us through this situation and use our baby girl as a testimony and instrument of His grace.



I had an appointment with my favorite OB yesterday. It was not encouraging, but the ladies that I have met on the holoprosencephaly support group I joined are very supportive. Meanwhile, I'm trusting in God and am thankful for ALL the prayers we are receiving. We really feel them!

Kara Faith comes from: Kara which means "Pure" and Faith which was given to me after some prayer. God gave me the word Faith and a scripture to go along with it a couple of weeks (8/1/2009) before we knew what we were having or that we would be on this journey of faith. Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." I wrote this note, "For we do not always know where we are going, but we can trust in Him who does." Wow, God is so faithful to meet us at our need!

So, I believe that the gift of Kara Faith is going to take us on a journey of pure faith. I am thankful for a special name for my sweet little girl.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

I will be updating about Kara as I am up to it on her blog Sweet Kara Faith.

Changed forever

I am now almost 16 weeks pregnant. Yesterday I went in to see my OB and he did an ultrasound in which we found a problem with our sweet baby. She, yes she, has a partially developed brain. The outlook is not good. I know I serve a BIG GOD and He is going to walk me/us through this. I am praying for a miracle, but barring that I am praying for His strength to guide me as I go day by day. We have an in-depth ultrasound this afternoon and will be talking with a specialist. Please pray for our sweet baby girl and our family. Thank you!

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil. 4:13

I know I never blog anymore. I just don't know what to say... (without being too negative) I feel like one day runs into another and one is no different than the next. It's just a "get through it" and move on feeling. I am hoping I will feel better soon. Between the pregnancy and some other aches and pains I have some days are just quite difficult. I feel like I need something to look forward to, but don't know what that is. Fall? I enjoy that season. It is so hot here right now. Most days it's in the 90's. We have no tree cover, so the kids don't go outside. We're all just in the house here. I would take them swimming more, but I have no suit that fits and only the 2 older boys can swim. I don't feel too good about supervising 5 children swimming with 3 who can't swim. Right now, Dan, Max, and Tommy went to Grandpa's pool to swim. Eden is still sleeping. (I wish she could have gone, too...) Joshua needs to go down for a nap, but I don't know if I can handle the crying. We just moved him out of our room to the boys' room and he doesn't like it. He cries a lot. I wanted to have my bedroom to myself for just a few months before I have to share it indefinitely with another baby, so... I don't think I have ever been this challenged in my life. I don't feel I can say any more, but that's just the rub I'm in.