I am a mother of 8 children. I have had 5 boys and 3 girls. (Our youngest daughter, Kara Faith, born last year is in Heaven.) Since I have a large family, I am used to those comments you get in the grocery store or when we're out and about. You know the ones. People say things like, "Don't you know what causes that? Glad it's you and not me! You have your hands full. Are they all yours?!" In my head I am thinking, "Yes, we know what causes it and we like it... I'm glad it's me and not you because people who don't want this many children shouldn't have them. Better to have my hands full than empty. No, they're not all mine. I borrowed some of the neighbors kids just for giggles." Even though I have these "not so nice" thoughts I don't usually voice them. So in all seriousness, no matter what is said, I usually beam and proudly announce that they're all mine.
So recently I got the question, "Why did you decide to have so many children?" That is a great question! There are several reasons I have a large family.
~ I love babies! I really do! After I get over the initial 14-18 weeks of nausea, I really enjoy my pregnancies. I love the feeling of new life moving inside. There truly is nothing like it and it's nothing short of a miracle.
~ I believe strongly in the sanctity of life. My Christian beliefs quickly brought me to the point where I realized that I could not, in good conscience, use chemical means of birth control. Most women do not understand that the Pill and the IUD are abortifacient in nature. Life begins at conception. The Pill and the IUD work to prevent implantation in the event a pregnancy occurs. Most doctors won't tell you this and the companies who produce these contraceptives don't openly advertise it. If you don't believe me, just look it up.
~ I believe children are a blessing from God. Yes, I did say that! The Bible says this best in the Psalms.
Psalm 127 says that, "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are children in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them!"
And Psalm 139 states, "For You formed my inward parts; You knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well."
In addition, I will state that all children are a blessing. This includes children born with different abilities. I love this quote from John Piper's blog:
Our culture’s strange ‘ownership’ of the unborn child grants parents the ability to rid themselves of the burden (which seems all too real and overwhelming) even if they underestimate the potential for joy (which doesn’t seem possible in that moment). So the answer is not merely in pointing out the joy, but reminding everyone that children — all children — are a blessing from God.
Because God is both sovereign and good, we can rest in the full confidence of his character and promises as we parent our children, no matter how they come. Disability is frequently hard, but God does not abandon us. And not only are we not alone, but God has promised to supply every need (Philippians 4:19 ). His plan is to benefit us (Jeremiah 29:11 ). He will comfort us (Psalm 71:20-21 ). Jesus himself has sent the Helper (John 14:16-17 ). The Church will encourage us (1 Thessalonians 5:11 ).
~ There are benefits to having a large family. The children always have someone to play with. They are rarely "bored." My children are seldom lonely. Family events tend to be more fun with a larger number of people. Every night can be a slumber party! I believe having a large family keeps my focus off myself and on more important things. There is not a lot of "down" time and human nature tends toward the selfish bent, so being busy is a good thing!
There is more to add, but I'll speak a little about me. Did I always want a large family? No, I didn't. I originally thought I'd have 3 kids by the time I was 30. I always wanted to be a stay-at-home mother. Life circumstances happened and I was divorced with 2 small children in my 20's. Thankfully, I met a man who was a Christian and desired more children. God has always been bigger than any plans I would have made for my life. Even when I have messed up, He has had the grace to bless me beyond measure.
In all, I have had 10 pregnancies. I have miscarried 2 babies. Also, our sweet baby, Kara Faith, lived 7 weeks last year. She had a condition called Holoprosencephaly (HPE). You can read the story of her life and God's faithfulness. Please look in the sidebar for her link.
In closing I would like to say that living with a large family causes us to depend more fully on God and His promises. I desire to honor Him in the choices I have made in regards to the size of my family and how they are educated; you see, we homeschool. If the chief end of man is to glorify God, then I daily endeavor to do that. I am an imperfect person, a sinner. Jesus' sacrifice gives me the grace to love, minister to, and be thankful for my family every day. I am so thankful for my family, the children God has given me: Celeste, Jamie, Dan, Max, Tommy, Eden, Joshua, and our baby in Heaven, Kara Faith.
