Kara Faith's Monument

Today, Kara Faith's new stone was installed at her spot in the park. It is lovely! I wanted to take her daisies, but it is October and so I settled for a lovely white rose for my Peanut. A vase has been ordered to fit in the little spot on the left. I miss her a lot now. I remember how it felt this time last year as she was moving inside. I am not all sadness, though. Sharing this brings me joy and honors my little girl. To read her story go to Sweet Kara Faith.

nook problems

In June I had some birthday money to spend on a gift. I agonized over what to spend it on because there are so many things that would be fun and worthwhile to buy. It ended up coming down to a few choices--an eReader or an iPod. I love to read and most books are available more inexpensively if you buy the e-version--plus taking up less space is a plus. I still really want an iTouch, but I don't think I could read books on it because of how small the print would be. After doing my research between the Kindle and the nook, I decided on the nook. Nook had just lowered its price and was available for much less than previously offered. (Now Kindle has followed suit.)

I really loved my nook. It has a wonderful touch screen and I can load music and pictures on it as well as buy books from other sites and download library books from overdrive. I mostly get free books on it. Anyway, last week it froze up--after a little over 90 days of ownership. It would try to turn it on and it kept saying loading, but that was it. I could not turn it off. I ended up finding instructions online to try to fix the problem. I took the battery out for 30 minutes and then put it back in. It still wasn't working properly. I hooked it up via usb to my computer and was able to get it to come back on. The serial number read 0. I cannot re-register the nook or login to my account to download the books I own. It's useless. I should have taken it into the store!!!! Instead, on the nook, it said to call 1-800-THE-BOOK. They told me they would send me out a new one. So I wait 5 days and today I get a refurbished nook in the mail. (I have to send back my old one.) Not happy!!!

This was a major luxury purchase for me. Being a mother of 8, I don't indulge myself the majority of the time. Also, reading has been a diversion from the pain of losing my daughter, Kara Faith, this year. Needless to say, I was pretty upset that they sent me a refurbished nook when it was their simcard failure that caused it to die. In addition, on Saturday when I called them, they said I could not return my broken nook to the store. I called the store today and they said that they would have exchanged it for a new one. (So, in essence, the 1800 people lied to me...) I called the 1800 number back and told them I was unhappy. Of course, they tried to convince me that what they sent was perfectly okay. Finally, I told them that I wanted to return the refurb one to them and take my original broken one in locally. That's not the way it worked out, but I am sending back the defective nook and taking the refurb one into the store to get a new one. It has been a major hassle. I am hoping to do this tonight. I lost all the pics and music I had put on my old one, but I can redo it. My library is safe in my online account.

All this to say what? Well, I did some research online and found a few other people that even had problems with their 2nd nook. I hope that doesn't happen. I really liked it before the simcard failure. It sounds like there are some kinks that they are dealing with. Know this, if you own a nook and have a problem go back to the store you purchased it at and they can help you. DO NOT call 1800THEBOOK!

On the Home Front

Just a little catch-up on the home front here...

We just started our 11th year of homeschooling. My students this year are Dan (6th grade), Max (4th grade), Tommy (1st grade), and Eden (K4). Joshua is 2 and just doot-doots around. We joined a Co-op that meets once a week. I am teaching history to the 3rd-4th graders. The kids are getting a lot of out it so far.

Celeste (19) is taking classes at Sante Fe College. Her proposed major is secondary education. She is very interested in teaching high school history. Currently, she is volunteering in a 2nd grade classroom. Next month she will have been working for Publix for 2 years. She is a cashier and a bagger for them. Celeste is involved with RUF (Reformed University Fellowship) and loves it! This college youth is sponsored by the Presbyterian Church and they have chapters on many campuses. Celeste is living at home right now, so we have 7 children at home.

Jamie (16) is a junior at the local, rural high school. He finished last year with a 4.2 GPA and has just been inducted into the National Honor Society. He is taking very challenging classes this year which include: AP U.S. History, AP Language, Chemistry Honors, Pre-calculus, Spanish 2, and Culinary 3. He's very active in church youth and is going to be playing guitar for them during youth group. Also, he works as a ref at the local paint ball park.

My husband, Stuart, has his federal firearms license and owns a gun shop. Also, he makes custom holsters. It has gotten a bit busier, of late, which is good! We are attending a new church and loving it. The ladies are meeting tonight for a coffee house and I am really looking forward to it. It's nice to recharge my batteries. Being a mother and wife is so demanding--even more so when you homeschool and have a large family.

A couple of extra thoughts--Eden is taking ballet and loving it! She is a girlie girl for sure. Joshua is just a riot. He finally says "yes" when he means "yes" now. It comes out, "Zess." He LOVES the garbage man! Mondays and Thursdays he is quite excited when they come in the morning and back down our street. His delight in this simple thing is precious!

We are still mourning our precious daughter, Kara Faith. Today I am thinking on her quite a bit. I want to order her heart-shaped headstone, but we haven't don that yet. I remember being pregnant this time last year and how that felt. She was safely tucked inside. Things have settled down now. Less people respond. It's that time where her death is still SO REAL to us, but life goes on and others forget. It is okay with me for my friends and family to mention her, to say her name, to ask about how we are. I love to share about my daughter. It's all I have. I covet your prayers...

Recents

Eden recently started taking ballet lessons from a local studio. It has been SO FUN to watch her enjoy this activity! Celeste is taking ballet at the college, too. It's so sweet to see my two girls dressed up for dance. (I don't have a pic of Celeste, though.)

The first picture is of Jamie hugging Eden before her first ballet class. Jamie turned 16 last month and he is such a sweet big brother. Jamie is gone for the summer and I am really missing him. There's six more weeks to go until he comes home... Also, Jamie got straight A's again and due to his honors classes his GPA is 4.2! He has quite a heavy schedule next year with 2 AP classes, an honors course in Chemistry, Pre-calc, Spanish 2, and Culinary 3. I am proud of his hard work!

Friday Felicities

Things that make me happy...

>My new Nook ebook reader!

>Watching my children learn or experience something new

>God's Word

>Chocolate Ganache from Publix ♥

>Well-behaved kids

>Joshua's little words telling me something

Just Coasting

Ahhh, home--my blog page. It probably wouldn't be a surprise for anyone for me to admit that I struggle some days with the home going of my sweet baby girl, Kara Faith. Recently, I attended a baby shower for a lovely young lady that is having her first baby, a girl. I rejoice with her. What I didn't expect was that during opening the gifts I started to realize that Kara would never wear those cute baby clothes, or take a bath that needed a cute little hooded towel, or use a pacifier. It has been almost 4 months since she left us, but I still have those moments where I'm right back to the last days she was with us, or the feelings I had right after her death. We never had a baby shower for her--not even a small one. In the back of my mind when I was pregnant with her the question was, "How do you have a baby shower for a baby that you don't even know will live?" That was heartbreaking to think of. I suppose it still is.

Kara Faith dressed in her clothes for the 1st time!

Clothes I bought and didn't know if she would ever wear...

Grief is like a roller coaster. Some days you are up and some days you are down. I had someone express to me that has lost a baby recently that sometimes you are afraid you'll get stuck in the spiral on that roller coaster, too. I have had those days and am very familiar with them. My husband just pointed out to me that we started grieving for Kara Faith at 15 weeks gestation. God has been good to us. He has given us peace during this process. I somewhat feel that that peace is starting to lift and I am feeling her life and loss more acutely than before. It may be that I just stuffed it all in a box and was trying to keep the lid on it because it was too much to deal with at the moment. We made some hard decisions in the wake of her leaving us. Life has just been hard in other areas that would be a challenge under normal circumstances, but we were truly walking through a fire... We are currently praying for direction in how to proceed with home schooling, Stuart's work, and acquiring a new peace and joy in our lives. The "new normal" is a daily adjustment. Jesus is standing right by me through this and is not offended at my ramblings. He can handle my grief. He is the most sure thing that exists in this world.

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?.... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8: 35 & 37-39

Splash Park Fun

We went to the "splash park" yesterday and they had so much fun! It was good for me to get out and enjoy my kids. To watch Max, Tommy, Eden, & Joshua laugh and have fun was wonderful. I'm trying to get back to life after Kara Faith. I love all of my children dearly. Some days it's just hard to get going. I feel very blessed by them!

Dan went to Sea World with his class from school yesterday and was quite worn out when he got home. He kept talking about riding the Kracken--a big rollercoaster. Jamie turns 16 next week on June 2nd. I can't believe that. He's about to finish out his 10th grade year and he has a 4.2 GPA currently. I am so proud of him! I miss Celeste most days. I popped in on her today. I just so desperately wanted to see her. Since she moved out I don't spend as much time with her as I'd like. Celeste took Jamie and I out to dinner last weekend and that was quite a treat! I am trying to think of fun things to do with the children this summer to keep us busy. Any ideas are appreciated!

An Encouraging Visitor

Max (9) takes a picture of our morning visitor. (See his reflection?!)

The American Lady Butterfly by Max

We had a precious butterfly visit us this morning. I really feel that God sent it as an encouragement to me. It kept coming back for over an hour and so lots of pictures were taken. Max, age 9, took these two and my favorite is the one with his reflection in it!

And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” (Rev. 21:5)

Baseball Morning

Max holding Joshua at the game

Joshua peeks through the fence to see Dan play ball...

Little Miss Eden Joy
After the game with Dan and Tommy

Dan had a baseball game this morning at 9, so we all went. (Jamie is working at the paintball park today reffing.) The weather is gorgeous today with a high in the low 80's and a cool wind. Perfect for a birthday party later for Joshua. He's 2 today! I will try to put up pictures from that.

Fridays

Fridays are special around here because of Little Miss Peanut Kara Faith. So today the girls are wearing purple. Well, my friend, Carly, has twins named Sydney and Abby. Abby has HPE like Kara Faith. They are wearing purple today, too. Please hop on over to their blog and see these cute little gifts from God. I feel very cared for by this gesture!

CUTE GIRLS IN PURPLE...

Dan turns Eleven

Happy 11th Birthday, Dan!

Here is our Daniel Allan. He likes to go by Dan. He was born today in 1999. This year he is in 5th grade. Currently, Dan is attending Oakview Middle School part-time learning Math/Science and is homeschooled the rest of the day. Dan is in his 4th year playing baseball. Right now his team is undefeated! Stuart and I lost a baby before Dan, so we prayed for Daniel and were overjoyed when he arrived just a few short days before Easter. He is a good BIG brother to his younger siblings. Max (9) says Dan is fun to play Wii with and Tommy (5) enjoys playing with him outside. (Everyone else is napping or unavailable for comments,lol!) We love you very much, Dan!

Raffle for Holoprosencephaly

Please hop on over and visit Kara's HoPE webpage. We are doing a raffle for a Porsche Boxter to raise funds to help other families with children and babies who have HPE. Thank you!!

Happy Birthday to My Husband, Stuart

I made this slideshow for my husband yesterday. It was his 42nd birthday! It's been a tough several weeks since Kara Faith went home to Jesus. We are just taking things day by day. Sometimes it's hour by hour for me. I hope you enjoy this. Some of the pictures are repeats from Kara's slideshow, but I can never get enough of her...

Free picture slideshow customized with Smilebox

A Celebration of Our Sweet Kara Faith

Kara Faith spent 45 days in the Level III NICU at Shands Hospital and another 4 glorious days at home with our family. We are so thankful for that special time with her. Please visit her webpage listed in the sidebar for more information on our "Little Peanut" and a link to the foundation we've created in her name.



(Please scroll down to turn off the music before viewing the slideshow)

Months ago, as I was searching for information on HPE online, I decided to start a blog for Kara Faith. God led me to tell her story to encourage others who may, in the future, go through similar trials. In my wildest dreams I never imagined what impact Kara’s little life would have on so many people! Only God could do that! I am so humbled to have been part of God’s plan. I feel so blessed to have had the privilege of being Kara’s mommy and to be able to share her story. My sincerest hope is that Kara Faith has inspired hope and increased the faith of many. Our tiny baby has strengthened my marriage, grown my own faith in Jesus, and has shown me how completely in control God is—and it is good! There is no need to waste time on fear for He has ordered everything down to the last detail. Remember this, in Psalm 139 it says that God has gone before you and behind you and knows all of your ways.

Home With Jesus

Sweet Kara Faith

January 8, 2010 ~ February 26, 2010

7 weeks old forever

She looked like her Daddy and her big brother, Dan.
Her eyes were a light, icy blue.
She had Grandma Sara's hands
and Eden's little feet and tushie.
She stole all of our hearts
Such a gift from God, she is!

Coming Home SOON!

All the kids together with Daddy on Valentine's Day!
Kara Faith smiles!

Little Miss Kara Faith is going to be coming home in about 1 week. They told us the goal is Monday, February 22nd. That seems soon and there is SO much to do! Because of all her equipment and some of the care she will need, we are going to set her up in what is now our home school room. It is right off of the family room and kitchen and it will be a good location for her. We are still troubleshooting to see if she will be able to handle a bouncy seat. Also, I think she will come home from the hospital in a car bed and not a car seat. All new to us. At home there will be a heart monitor, suction machine, oxygen, and a humidifier for her trach. Pray for us as we care for her around the clock. We will have to work some schedule where we take turns sleeping. Someone needs to be awake with her 24/7 and they are having a hard time finding a nurse for us that will come at all--let alone the 11-7 shift so we can get some sleep. Evidently pediatric in-home nurses are rare in our area and then finding one that will care for a child with a trach is another hurdle. We will need a supernatural strength that God can provide. Leaning on Him during these wonderful and apprehensive days ahead!

My Kara Bear

Here is Kara Faith after a bath. I love the sweet hat that one of the NICU nurses found for her to wear! Hop on over to her blog to read an update on her. We are praising God for every sweet day with her and the miracle and blessing of her life! God is good!

Our Little Miracle Has Arrived

Kara Faith

January 8th, 2010

6:42 a.m. via C Section

5 pounds, 14 ounces

We are praising God she is here! We need continued prayer for the days to come and trust Him with every precious day we walk with our sweet baby.

365-1 (Mommytography Project)

Even though I didn't take this picture today I couldn't resist! This is Eden on her new bike on Christmas Day. I love the pure joy on her face!

A New Project

I am participating in the 2010 Mommytography 365 Project! For this year long project I will be posting an image a day (that's the goal anyway!). Anyone interested in photography can join, no need to be a Mommytographer. Come join the fun!